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An Ode to a Titan Arum: Wee Stinky

Rosemary Glos (Plant Sciences ’20) and greenhouse grower Paul Cooper measure ‘Wee Stinky’ December 7.

Rosemary Glos (Plant Sciences ’20) and greenhouse grower Paul Cooper measure ‘Wee Stinky’ December 7.

From Marla Coppolino, a frequent visitor to the Conservatory:

Wee Stinky, dear Wee Stinky,
Thy spathe is yet too dinky
We desire for you to bloom
Please tell us, can’t it be soon?

Phenomenal has been your recent growth
Might you be able to pledge your troth
That your great blossom will yawn
Prior to holiday break’s coming dawn?

Don’t you realize that Cornell shuts down
With Conservatory locked, we will frown
Our faces will be pressed to the glass
Just for a glimpse of your blossoming badass

O, how we long to see you up close!
And inhale the stink of your perfume so gross!
You have only until December twenty-first
Then we’re locked out, that would be the worst!

And in the New Year, when we’re all back,
Someone is sure to make a wisecrack
For with your flower finished, you may be placid
But all we’ll get to see is your spadix gone flaccid.

©2018 Marla Coppolino

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